Overcoming the blackout

Hi,
I have a question for you:

When I’m in a club or bar with some real HB’s (Hot Babes) my mind goes blank. It’s almost like my whole brain locks up.

Any advice? What can I do to get past this?

Hi Guy,

What you really need to do it be more prepared. It’s not like you’re traveling to deepest Africa or anything, right?

Before you go out again, try to make some time to write down a variety of “Hello’s” you can use to introduce yourself. The more you practice the opening lines you’ll use, the more naturally they’ll flow when you need them. OK?

Practice doesn’t only make perfect, it makes life a helluva lot easier when your confronted by a couple of 10′s and you need to keep their attention on YOU and not the other 100 guys in the room.

Good luck!

First Date Followup

One of the biggest mistakes that leads to less attraction, and worsening dates, is what guys do after the first date: the after the first date phone call.

You’ll find plenty of rules to go by, plenty of debate that leads one way or the other, but let me tell you, this is how to handle the first phone call after the first date:

If you like her then you should call no later than 7:00pm the next day but not before noon-time. Keep the call short and thank her for a wonderful time. Maybe a minute or two to talk about the date and how much fun you had. Bring up the possibility of a second date, but don’t mention anything specific right away (this is actually better left to another call in the next couple of days).

If you didn’t like her, then you still call her, maybe not the next day but the latest would be the second day after the date.

Thank her for the wonderful time you had and leave things at that point. You must call her to be polite and if she asks about another date right away then just say you’re busy for a couple of days but will call her again. While many women will say that you should say right out if you don’t dating her would lead towards a relationship, I think this is better for the second follow-up call rather than the first date phone call.

Let her down easy and always be polite. Remember, it’s a small world and she may know the next girl you date and you don’t want to be described as a jerk. And you will call her a second time just to say that you’ve been thinking things over and you’d rather keep her as a friend that a romantic partner. Be smooth, polite and get off the phone as fast as possible.

Women always want to know how long it will take a guy to call after the first date, and guys, this is what I’ve told you: one day, no later than 7:00pm is when you should make the call.
Certainly don’t call her right after the first date, or first thing in the morning. A little mystery goes a long way.

How to Make the First Date Great

The reasons why first dates fail, like not finding nuclear war heads in Iraq, are your communication skills. Either you have them or you don’t.

Either you make the date fun and active and interactive or you make it boring, dull, with awkward pauses and just a plain failure. Some women will give you a second chance with a second date. But many won’t, they see that what they see is what they got, and no surprises there.

There are many ways you can sabotage the first date: wearing dirty clothes right from work and stinking like a horses butt come to mind. The greasy hair that was last washed about a week ago, or simply asking her to pay half of the bill also will ruin any first (or later) date.

But the real deal-breaker as far as first dates go is not having enough fun on the first date.

You want to plan the first date so that it is interactive between the both of you. You want to be able to communicate on the first date. You want to have time to talk, time to share, and time to understand each other.

Finding common ground is what the first date is all about. It’s also what all the several dates afterwards are about, to lay down the bridge between the next dates. If there’s no bridge there is no next date. If there’s no communication, there is no bridge. If you’re a wussy and show it, there is no chance at all.

You can search online for the term “great first date” and have thousands, or millions, of results, but the reality is you take two people and look at the personalities and what they have in common and find something fun to do.

Even if the choices are something that you rarely do on your own, and I come back to these examples many times, go bowling, go window shopping, go to a dessert shop, go to local museum, maybe an art shop.

The goal of your selection of your first date destination is that it allows time for the two of you to talk, to find it more about each other. A guy that can talk and hold a conversation with a woman without being overwhelmed is well on his way to being whatever type of men that women like, and appreciate, without becoming a wussified guy and/or their “girlfriend”, which is an entirely different subject about not being boyfriend material.

This doesn’t mean that dates should cost you hundreds of dollars, by any definition this should mean that dates should cost you $20 – $50, unless you’re really trying to impress, of course. But don’t overdo it. It’s your personality and your conversational skills that will be remembered and will be rated the next day when she’s talking to her girlfriends. That’s the first test you have to pass that any woman you want to date will give you.

So read your local newspaper regularly, visit your local news events online website. Know what’s going on and be ready at any time to invite any woman you meet one of these events.

It’s even a great idea for you to go to these events by yourself or with one buddy, not with all the guys, but just one buddy because then you have a little more experience in what’s going on at these events as well as more opportunities to see what type of women are at these events. It’s this type of information that is always priceless. These experiences keep you prepared for the moment when you first talking to a woman and need topics to talk about and options to invite her to.

These tips will help you make your first dates, great. Good luck!

The First Date Gift

Alright, I may seem out of tune with reality but guys, can you think of a worse bargaining chip than the “First Date Gift”?

I think that the first date gift was originally given to the head of the household, as a partial payment towards the girl’s family, for her hand in marriage. Maybe that’s just me…

So, should you bring with you a first date gift to the woman you are having that first date with?

I would say no.

If you need to start the evening off on a good footing, then wear clean clothes, maybe even shower and shave beforehand. But do you need to bring the first date bribe, I mean gift?

No.

But many guys still fall back on the need to give a gift, and that’s fine, that’s you.
But think of this:
What of she doesn’t like the gift you give her, will this ruin your first date? Sure it will.
Is the gift a fitting gift? Will she like the candy? Is she allergic to pollen on the flowers?

I think that if you need to give a gift, avoid the gift giving BEFORE the date and send her something the next morning. Call up the flower company, call up the candy store that delivers… and send her something along with a question about the date and time for the second date.