How to Make the First Date Great

The reasons why first dates fail, like not finding nuclear war heads in Iraq, are your communication skills. Either you have them or you don’t.

Either you make the date fun and active and interactive or you make it boring, dull, with awkward pauses and just a plain failure. Some women will give you a second chance with a second date. But many won’t, they see that what they see is what they got, and no surprises there.

There are many ways you can sabotage the first date: wearing dirty clothes right from work and stinking like a horses butt come to mind. The greasy hair that was last washed about a week ago, or simply asking her to pay half of the bill also will ruin any first (or later) date.

But the real deal-breaker as far as first dates go is not having enough fun on the first date.

You want to plan the first date so that it is interactive between the both of you. You want to be able to communicate on the first date. You want to have time to talk, time to share, and time to understand each other.

Finding common ground is what the first date is all about. It’s also what all the several dates afterwards are about, to lay down the bridge between the next dates. If there’s no bridge there is no next date. If there’s no communication, there is no bridge. If you’re a wussy and show it, there is no chance at all.

You can search online for the term “great first date” and have thousands, or millions, of results, but the reality is you take two people and look at the personalities and what they have in common and find something fun to do.

Even if the choices are something that you rarely do on your own, and I come back to these examples many times, go bowling, go window shopping, go to a dessert shop, go to local museum, maybe an art shop.

The goal of your selection of your first date destination is that it allows time for the two of you to talk, to find it more about each other. A guy that can talk and hold a conversation with a woman without being overwhelmed is well on his way to being whatever type of men that women like, and appreciate, without becoming a wussified guy and/or their “girlfriend”, which is an entirely different subject about not being boyfriend material.

This doesn’t mean that dates should cost you hundreds of dollars, by any definition this should mean that dates should cost you $20 – $50, unless you’re really trying to impress, of course. But don’t overdo it. It’s your personality and your conversational skills that will be remembered and will be rated the next day when she’s talking to her girlfriends. That’s the first test you have to pass that any woman you want to date will give you.

So read your local newspaper regularly, visit your local news events online website. Know what’s going on and be ready at any time to invite any woman you meet one of these events.

It’s even a great idea for you to go to these events by yourself or with one buddy, not with all the guys, but just one buddy because then you have a little more experience in what’s going on at these events as well as more opportunities to see what type of women are at these events. It’s this type of information that is always priceless. These experiences keep you prepared for the moment when you first talking to a woman and need topics to talk about and options to invite her to.

These tips will help you make your first dates, great. Good luck!

The First Date Gift

Alright, I may seem out of tune with reality but guys, can you think of a worse bargaining chip than the “First Date Gift”?

I think that the first date gift was originally given to the head of the household, as a partial payment towards the girl’s family, for her hand in marriage. Maybe that’s just me…

So, should you bring with you a first date gift to the woman you are having that first date with?

I would say no.

If you need to start the evening off on a good footing, then wear clean clothes, maybe even shower and shave beforehand. But do you need to bring the first date bribe, I mean gift?

No.

But many guys still fall back on the need to give a gift, and that’s fine, that’s you.
But think of this:
What of she doesn’t like the gift you give her, will this ruin your first date? Sure it will.
Is the gift a fitting gift? Will she like the candy? Is she allergic to pollen on the flowers?

I think that if you need to give a gift, avoid the gift giving BEFORE the date and send her something the next morning. Call up the flower company, call up the candy store that delivers… and send her something along with a question about the date and time for the second date.

Should I Play It Cool?

I was recently asked a question about making the first moves on a girl a guy liked… you’ll love this.

“I’m 21 years old and a junior in college. There is a freshman girl that I like and I see her 4 days out of the week in Japanese class.
The very first day of class i noticed that she looked around, then gave a slight glance around the room and sat next to me. She then began randomly talking to me.
So I thought to myself that maybe she is interested in me.
We began to exchange phone numbers and begin talking a bit everyday. But she usually only contact me when she needs help with school.
We hung out a couple times for non related school reasons which was very fun. I believe she is very much like me.
I tutored her in both math and Japanese before. She thinks I’m very smart (in science and math) and always smiles at my jokes.
Then I began to think that she liked me as well. She text me everyday before class about school related stuff but she can find all the information on the class online, so I thought she was finding an excuse to talk to me.
Then after one day of tutoring math, she offered to take me out to dinner and pay for me. I thought she was just repaying me or possibly interested in me. During dinner we talked a lot and we asked each other what we were doing after dinner.
We decided to go to my room and watched a scary movie. Then at the end of the movie I pulled a big no no. I told her I liked her and I wanted to make a move but I really valued our friendship. She said do I usually tell a girl I like her, and I said that no, just this time because I was afraid to make a move and make thinks awkward without asking her first. She said she is talking with some guy as of now, and knows him the same amount of time as she knows me. Which is two months.
She said he was cute and she likes him. Then I told her why I liked her and she said she never knew that I liked her. And she is unsure about how she feels about me. I said I will still like to be friends and she agrees. But then she says, let’s take this slow and see where things go.
Then she said she didn’t want to walk back herself since we just watched a scary movie. I offered to walked her back and she was really happy.
When we got to her dorm I said good night and she said can I get a hug at least, and gave her a hug.
And she hasn’t contact me since then which is about 2 days so far. What should I do? I have been thinking about it a lot. Should I just play it cool as a friend and flirt slowly and then make a move on her? I don’t know, please help me.”

This guy has been given the world by a girl…. and he’s wondering if he needs to “make a move” on her?

You know that just by waiting so long (two months) that she’s losing interest in him every second that he doesn’t do something… anything.

This is an Attraction Killer a lot of guys make… they wait too long and the girl loses interest. Then, before you know it, she’s dating someone else.

Guys let this be a lesson for you to “Close with a kiss as soon as possible”.
It’s better to be shut out of the kiss than be scared to make that first move.
Like this guy above, what is he waiting for? Snow in summer? A green light? A lot of green lights?

Move in like you’re going to whisper in her ear, turn your head and give her a peck on the lips…. And don’t wait two months to do it because she’ll certainly tire of waiting for you.

And for goodness sakes, don’t TELL her you love her, show her… kiss kiss.

Trust me.

Better success with a wingman? You bet!

There are some lucky guys, “naturals” that have immediate success with women. It’s as if the women were throwing their phone numbers at them as they entered the room.

For the rest of us, meeting women is a chore, and a horror show rolled into one.

This is why you need a wingman.

A wingman is a guy that is better than you at introducing himself to women, better at getting their phoen numbers, a wingman is a guy that you can learn from.

But mostly a wingman is a guy that will go out with you and help you to learn how to approach women, how to attract women and he will be the one breaking the ice with the women you’re going to meet and he’ll be making the introductions, with you doing the followup of continuing the conversation, getting her phone number and maybe scoring some dates or more immediate social and intimate happenings.