She Hangs Out With Me But Has A Boyfriend

If there is a girl that you hang out a lot with, a girl that you really like but she has a boyfriend, then let me tell you straight out:
She will never date you.

Now, you’re going to tell me that you hang out together a lot. You talk, chat, text and you find it very easy to be yourself around her.

She doesn’t treat you like other girls do.

She tells you about the troubles she’s having with her boyfriend (it seems that there is always drama in her relationship with “him”), and you listen but don’t offer too much advice because you’ve learned over time that she will explain away the things he does to her even as she complains out loud about him.

You tell her to break up with him but she won’t, no matter what he does to her, even up to missing dates with her while hanging out with his friends, maybe even to the point of forgiving him for cheating on her.

You feel great love for her because she listens to you and you share very private secrets and very private goals and dreams.

Her dreams involve “him” and your dreams involve “her”, this girl that you love, even though she doesn’t love you back, not the same way you do.

It is very hard to get a girl that is your friend to break up with the jerk she has as a boyfriend and date you instead but it can be done.

It just takes time and a helluva lot of willpower.

Most guys fail at this point because they think that what they need to do, what I suggest to them is mean or being a jerk (like the guy she’s dating now).

Some guys start out doing what I tell them to do and stop doing it after a short while, a day or two, because they don’t have the balls to actually do the work to get her to become your girlfriend when the two of you already share so much (and yes, this includes the two of you sharing her boyfriend “the jerk” if you think about it).

A few guys do what I tell them to do and even they fail to turn the “girl friend” into their “girlfriend” because they end up showing exactly how much of a wussy they are. Guys, being romantic is very different from being a wussy.

If you’re reading this because you want to turn a girl you have as a close friend into your girlfriend but she already has a boyfriend, then read on because the truth is hard to swallow but this is not a poison pill, it’s one of life’s lessons and if you don’t learn it now, or you fail to follow through what I tell you to do to the end, then you’ll never learn, or even understand, this life lesson.

What You Need To Do

You need to stop centering your life around her. Understand this, her life does not revolve around you, she has a boyfriend.

You need to stop texting and chatting with her. Being available to reply to her all the time takes up too much of your time, time that you could be doing a lot of other things, maybe even like meeting other girls and hanging out with them. And if you are always available to chat with her, and she can fit you and her jerk boyfriend into her same schedule, then she doesn’t need you as a “boyfriend” because she has one already and she has you to be there for her when her real boyfriend isn’t.

You need to stop being so empathetic with her. The more you listen to her life’s troubles the better she feels about herself because she has someone to talk to. But shouldn’t she really be saying these things to her boyfriend, not a guy (you) that she just won’t see as boyfriend material? And if you spend all of this time listening to her, shouldn’t she pick you as her boyfriend? You are very hopeful, but she is dating and loving a different guy, a guy that isn’t you.

Stop being available to listen to her at any time, day and night. Stop texting her, stop talking on the phone, stop tweeting her, stop Facebooking her. Even though you really do want your life to revolve around her the way things are right now will not make it happen, so top doing these things.

What are you actually giving her when you do all of these things? You are giving her time away from you so that she can sort out if she loves you and how much. Yes, she will miss you and she will contact you, text you, call. Or she won’t.

You don’t tell her this is what you are doing, but just fade away, be busy with other things when she contacts you. You want her to miss you but really what you want is for her to miss you enough that she does come to the realization, all by herself, that she wants to be with you more than her boyfriend.

If you do these things and give her time away from you and all she does is replace you with another friend, instead of missing you, then you never, ever, had a chance of dating her, never would you have become her boyfriend. And it’s good you learned this now before you wasted another minute of your life on her.

If you want to find out more about women, friendships, love and dating, listen to my friend David Deangelo, this is a guy that does have all the answers!

Meet Dave and listen to what he has to say to you.

The Skill Set Of Getting Dates With Women

It’s no surprise that they guys that get the women are also the guys that intimidate other men.
Having the skill set of introducing yourself to women you don’t know, with confidence, is something that is learned by men, individually, over time. And it’s also the main ingredient of success with women.

The recipe of success with women
You can divide the success with women recipe, so to speak, as a list of individual ingredients that are skills that guys need to learn to use effectively:
Introduction (opening) techniques
Conversational techniques
Information trade (getting email addresses, phone numbers)
Follow-up (closing) skills

The simple steps of any guy’s interaction with women are:
Introduction (opening) techniques – the ability to walk up to any woman, anywhere and introduce yourself in such a way that “get lost!” is not in the woman’s vocabulary.
Conversational (framing) techniques – the ability to start small talk and interest in the woman you want to talk with. Being able to start any conversation (the talk after the introduction) that the woman will not only understand but will appreciate being involved in. Also involves reading her basic body language to see if she’s tensing up (rejecting) or starting to accept (relax and submit) to your advance.
Information trade (getting email addresses, phone numbers) – the ability to move from the conversation to getting her email address and/or phone number so you can contact her later. You want to make a woman you just met comfortable enough, and attracted enough, to give you her personal information without hesitation.
Follow-up (closing) skills – the ability to know when to end the conversation, in effect walk away from her in such a way that she will be waiting in anticipation for your email or your phone to her call the next day.

In essence when can you confidently walk up to an attractive woman and say “Hi, I saw you looking my way and guessed that if I didn’t tell you to stop soon I’d have to call a cop and report you for stalking” you’ve got what it takes to make interest and attraction happen.
Can you move from that initial cocky opening line (or some other opening line) to being able to continue the conversation in such a way that the woman is neither offended or creeped out? You can as long as you can read her reactions to know if your next step is to say “Hey, you’re not her, my stalker has brown (a different color) hair” or just turning tail and walking away.
Of course, the real answer is any next sentence that you say to her that allows you to move past your introduction to having her answer you in a positive way. The next couple of words out of your mouth need to be framed in such a way that she relaxes in body language movements allowing you to continue. Relaxing body language movements include her straightening her blouse sleeves or pants/skirt, adjusting or primping her hair around her face, a slight touch to your sleeve or hand as well as sitting up straight and pulling her shoulders back and chest forward.
After continuing the conversation for a few minutes (don’t overstay your introduction and framing conversation) you need to move to the information trade and get her phone number. A simple “It’s nice to meet you, I have to get back to my friends/table/get my drink/meal (whatever), can I have your phone number and we can continue this conversation again?” will allow you to complete your frame and include your close to getting her number. Keep in mind, you’re after dates here, not a score. Getting women’s email address and phone numbers, and sparking their initial interest in you, is your goal.

So-called ‘alpha males’, the leaders of the pack, usually have an innate ability to use these ingredients to their advantage without any extra learning materials being needed. Then there is the rest of us.

I’ve found very helpful online resources for the guys like us, so be sure to visit them. You may not become the “leader of the pack” but your success in being able to approach women, to be able to start conversations, get phone numbers and close the conversation with her having a high interest level in you will skyrocket. They are all available in one place: www.aLoveLinksPlus.com.

Reluctant to use what works

Hi,

I’ve been reading your book and think it’s great. I’ve been able to score with women from 20 to 35 (the older women are wayyy better!) and it’s all because I follow the C+F thing right down to the last thing I say.

I have these babes calling me all the time!

My question:

How do I choose which one I stay with?

Thanks, Dan

Hi Dan,

I’m very sorry to have made your life so difficult! — LOL –

But this is one YOU have to decide. But trust me, when she’s with you, you’ll know it.

Overcoming the blackout

Hi,
I have a question for you:

When I’m in a club or bar with some real HB’s (Hot Babes) my mind goes blank. It’s almost like my whole brain locks up.

Any advice? What can I do to get past this?

Hi Guy,

What you really need to do it be more prepared. It’s not like you’re traveling to deepest Africa or anything, right?

Before you go out again, try to make some time to write down a variety of “Hello’s” you can use to introduce yourself. The more you practice the opening lines you’ll use, the more naturally they’ll flow when you need them. OK?

Practice doesn’t only make perfect, it makes life a helluva lot easier when your confronted by a couple of 10′s and you need to keep their attention on YOU and not the other 100 guys in the room.

Good luck!