The Skill Set Of Getting Dates With Women
It’s no surprise that they guys that get the women are also the guys that intimidate other men.
Having the skill set of introducing yourself to women you don’t know, with confidence, is something that is learned by men, individually, over time. And it’s also the main ingredient of success with women.
The recipe of success with women
You can divide the success with women recipe, so to speak, as a list of individual ingredients that are skills that guys need to learn to use effectively:
Introduction (opening) techniques
Conversational techniques
Information trade (getting email addresses, phone numbers)
Follow-up (closing) skills
The simple steps of any guy’s interaction with women are:
Introduction (opening) techniques – the ability to walk up to any woman, anywhere and introduce yourself in such a way that “get lost!” is not in the woman’s vocabulary.
Conversational (framing) techniques – the ability to start small talk and interest in the woman you want to talk with. Being able to start any conversation (the talk after the introduction) that the woman will not only understand but will appreciate being involved in. Also involves reading her basic body language to see if she’s tensing up (rejecting) or starting to accept (relax and submit) to your advance.
Information trade (getting email addresses, phone numbers) – the ability to move from the conversation to getting her email address and/or phone number so you can contact her later. You want to make a woman you just met comfortable enough, and attracted enough, to give you her personal information without hesitation.
Follow-up (closing) skills – the ability to know when to end the conversation, in effect walk away from her in such a way that she will be waiting in anticipation for your email or your phone to her call the next day.
In essence when can you confidently walk up to an attractive woman and say “Hi, I saw you looking my way and guessed that if I didn’t tell you to stop soon I’d have to call a cop and report you for stalking” you’ve got what it takes to make interest and attraction happen.
Can you move from that initial cocky opening line (or some other opening line) to being able to continue the conversation in such a way that the woman is neither offended or creeped out? You can as long as you can read her reactions to know if your next step is to say “Hey, you’re not her, my stalker has brown (a different color) hair” or just turning tail and walking away.
Of course, the real answer is any next sentence that you say to her that allows you to move past your introduction to having her answer you in a positive way. The next couple of words out of your mouth need to be framed in such a way that she relaxes in body language movements allowing you to continue. Relaxing body language movements include her straightening her blouse sleeves or pants/skirt, adjusting or primping her hair around her face, a slight touch to your sleeve or hand as well as sitting up straight and pulling her shoulders back and chest forward.
After continuing the conversation for a few minutes (don’t overstay your introduction and framing conversation) you need to move to the information trade and get her phone number. A simple “It’s nice to meet you, I have to get back to my friends/table/get my drink/meal (whatever), can I have your phone number and we can continue this conversation again?” will allow you to complete your frame and include your close to getting her number. Keep in mind, you’re after dates here, not a score. Getting women’s email address and phone numbers, and sparking their initial interest in you, is your goal.
So-called ‘alpha males’, the leaders of the pack, usually have an innate ability to use these ingredients to their advantage without any extra learning materials being needed. Then there is the rest of us.
I’ve found very helpful online resources for the guys like us, so be sure to visit them. You may not become the “leader of the pack” but your success in being able to approach women, to be able to start conversations, get phone numbers and close the conversation with her having a high interest level in you will skyrocket. They are all available in one place: www.aLoveLinksPlus.com.
